Athletico Tremains 9 St Pats 4
With Dai Rees in France (probably hanging from the Eiffel tower) the team was left to Brennan to run for the away visit to Newbridge fields. A task he had been relishing. With many players missing due to work and egg chasing commitments the team that took to the field was somewhat disjointed and some new playing partnerships were introduced. Tom Cole’s once again donned the keepers jersey, this time behind a back 4 of Ryan Calligan, Truck, Crowley and Phil Tom. Midfield consisted of Simon McGee, the AP, Gavin Davies and Matthew Jones, who fresh back from manflu took his place on the left for a first time. This left Brennan upfront alongside the Con (a partnership that hadn’t been seen for over a season.)
A bright start form the Pat’s bore no fruit infront of goal despite Brennan fluffing a glorious opportunity and the Con being kicked in the eye whilst racing through the defence (needless to say there was no high foot offence given as the defenders boot was merely 6 inches off the floor).
It as clear that this tremains side had some quality about their game and it wasn’t long before the Pats were in all kinds of trouble and struggling to keep the ball and break them down. Their breakthrough came with a fantastic 25 yard free kick which flew in off the post after Gavin Davies had bundled over the attacker.
This was not a good sign for the Pats and with Hywel Ap stinking like the old mans bus shelter and roaming about the field like a lost sheep, and Phil Tom who seemed to forget that he was actually left footed the Pat’s were soon on the wrong end of 3 other goals.4-0 down and the boy’s were shell-shocked! A final attack for the pats in the second half saw a long ball being picked up by Simon McGee in the corner where he majestically nutmegged an oncoming defender to race (haha) into the box, but, with the keeper to beat and Brennan, AP, Con, Matthew (basically everyman and his dog) available for the square ball with the empty net ahead, he decided to try to put it in the top corner himself with the outside of his boot only to see it blaze wide! selfish hairy footed bastard!
Half time 4-0 down!
Some rushed changes at half time saw Ashley Poole (aka Scott Sainsbury) replacing the terrible Phil Tom at left back (the less said about that performance the better) and the return of the Pipe, Peter Walsh on for the injured Gavin Davies (who had a 2 headed collision toward the end of the half. Luckily only one of his heads was hurt). A little reshuffle saw Walsh drop to centre half with Truck slotting into midfield alongside…nobody really because the AP was AWOL and nobody new where he was playing!
Things went from bad to worse and the Pat’s were soon 5-0 down, due to some appalling defending and quick counter attacking from Tremains. Shortly followed by Chris Crowley’s exit from the game as his ‘come down’ was kicking in. He was replaced by the ‘ferret’ Craig Ward who was quickly back to his ankle biting worst!
This was riling the Tremains and St. Pats were rewarded with several free kicks from distance. One of these free kicks was taken by Matthew Jones (actually all of them were, but this is the only one worth commenting on) who curled the ball to towards the edge of the box where Brennan leapt impressively to outjump the centre half and loop his header into the top corner. 5-1 and the pats finally had something to shout about!
Then as the pats felt they were edging back into the game they were hit with a sucker punch, again on the counter attack, and as Peter Walsh once again screamed for offside they attackers waltzed through to make it 6-1. Devastating!
Lee ‘Elfed Thomas’ was then brought on for Ryan Calligan but switched to striker as the Pat’s went through a dramatic 4 man reshuffle with Con dropping to wing Matthew Jones to Centre midfield and Sherman to right Back.
Some good touches from Elfed and good hold up play followed as Pat’s looked for a breakthrough and he was looking by far the most impressive of all the substitutes as he looked to have an impact on the game, and he was obviously hungrier than a lot of the players on the field, and this was causing problems for the home side.
What happened next can only be described as a phenomenon!! From way outside the box the ball popped up for Matthew Jones who’s attempt at a left foot strike can only be called ‘laughable’ as it rocket straight across the goal and was heading harmlessly for a goal kick. In there disappointment most of the Pats team turned to retreat to defend the restart only for Chris ‘Weeman’ O’Connor to appear through the air at the back post like some header that’s just been shot out of a cannon and sublimely bury his header in the bottom corner. 6-2 and the Pat’s had a bit of wind in them all of a sudden and were looking quite impressive .
St Pats forced a corner shortly after and after some slack Tremains marking, a superb cross from Simon McGee (a fluke we think) and a great late run into the box, Paul ‘Truck’ Treloar (Haribo West to his friends) rose like a virgin’s cock in a lap dancing club to power home a header passed the helpless keeper. 6-3 with 20 minutes to play!! Could they do it??
In a word - NO!
After some slack defending and absent midfield play (perhaps chasing the game too much), the next 15 minutes were a disaster for the Pat’s and they were soon 9-3 down. Though credit where it’s due, 2 of these last goals wouldn’t of looked out of place on match of the day! absolute screamers they were! Top corner …Bosh!
Pat’s managed a late consolation through Brennan after a sliderule pass by Matthew Jones split the defence for an easy sidefoot finish with only the keeper to beat from 10 yards.
The only positives from this week were that the strikers are finally finding the net. Next step for the Pat’s….Stop conceding so many bloody goals and learn to keep the ball!
Final Score Athletico Tremains 9 – St. Patricks Rovers 4.
Disappointing to say the least!
Let’s hope Dai Rees can bring some inspiration home from France for next weeks game (if he ever returns).
Shape up Pat's!